You´ve gotta pick a pocket or two

Madrid is rife with sneky robbers. Not the kind you would find in the Bronx in NY or the ruthless maniacs you would find in Tranchtown. Satistically, you are less likely to be a victim of violent crime in Madrid than you are in most cities in Europe. However, Madrid is one of the cities you are most likelty to get pickpocketed. The most touristy parts and the busiest parts are pickpocketers´meccas.
Pickpocketers are real sneaky ****s. You won´t know you´ve been pickpocketed until you need to go into your wallet. The rush hour is the worst. Morning and Night. They know that people are are at their most tired at these times and less vigilant. What´s more, they will have to cram onto a crowded Metro carriage like sarines. Pickpocketers love this as they can easily slip their hands into people´s front pockets.
After nicking your wallet, they will get what they want out of it and bin the rest. I was told that if I return to the station that the slimey thieves got off, I could at least retain my wallet. I got my wallet back OK without my J and J books loyalty card, my debit card and my Metro pass.
Despite the fact that the ticket office knew my Metro pass had been stolen, they still stung me for 55 Euros for another mothly pass.
So what can people do???
Being vigilant is never enough. These people are professionally trained to nick your contents.
1. Try and avoid the centre carriages of the Metro. They pack out the most.
2. Try a money belt and keep the thing under wraps. That said, pickpockets have been known to rob moneybelts.
3. The FCO website asks people to avoid places lie Lavapies, Sol and Atocha on busy days.
4. Carry a dud wallet with no money and a strong message.
5. Never speak English on the Metro and don´t hang around reading Lonely Planet guidebooks at station platforms.




You see, Oliver...
In this life, one thing counts In the bank, large amounts I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

Large amounts don't grow on trees. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.
Let's show Oliver how it's done, shall we, my dears?
Why should we break our backs Stupidly paying tax? Better get some untaxed income Better to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.
Why should we all break our backs? Better pick-a-pocket or two.
Who says crime doesn't pay?
Robin Hood, what a crook!Gave away, what he took.Charity's fine, subscribe to mine.Get out and pick-a-pocket or twoYou've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.
Robin Hood was far too goodHe had to pick-a-pocket or two.
Take a tip from Bill SikesHe can whip what he likes.I recall, he started smallHe had to pick-a-pocket or two.You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.
We can be like old Bill SikesIf we pick-a-pocket or two.
Stop thief!Dear old gent passing bySomething nice takes his eyeEverything's clear, attack the rearGet in and pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.
Have no fear, attack the rearGet in and pick-a-pocket or two.
When I see someone rich, Both my thumbs start to itchOnly to find some peace of mindWe have to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.
Just to find some peace of mind
We have to pick-a-pocket or two!